Someone edit this poem and give me opinions?

I am unfamiliar with the story 'Go Ask Alice' but I do like your poem. I think the repetition is very effective in setting the tone of the poem. Your use of rhyme is very good although the rhythm is a little uncertain: you can hear the rhythm in places (e.g. the second stanza) but you have not maintained it throughout the poem. All in all, in my opinion, this is very good. If I were you I'd go over it a few times, and just fine comb it to ensure it's how you want it to be.